Transgender, Attractiveness and Relationships – The difficulty of finding Mr. Right

At an early stage, we discussed some effects of attractiveness and gender. In the following blogpost, I am going to speak about an unfortunately still existing taboo and the prejudices of Transgender. I will talk about the challenges they face, when they have finally arrived at the body they wish for a start to look for a relationship.

The world we face today changed a lot. As the literature still speaks about the existence of two sexes, we know better, that there are existing even more of them. It remains a taboo to talk about transgender but I am very proud to present, Raffaela, a transgender woman who struggles for her rights to get the respect from all the people and to stop the prejudices about her.

With her Facebook-account she records herself on video and talks about the problems she is facing as a transgender. One of her videos faces the aspect to find Mr. Right and the difficulties she struggles with (if you wish to see the video:


She argues, that even if you are an educated, level-headed, kind and attractive woman, men stop to be interested when she confronts them, that she has not been born as a biological woman. Her present life seems to be pushed into the background and her past catches up with her.

After an outing from Raffaela, most men tell her that they are not gay and that a relationship cannot work.

The literature about gender gives us an answer. As Gildemeister and Hericks argue, we always have the assumption of dichotomy of the sexes. So, if we face a person, the first thing we do, is to categorise the person into a female or male person. But what happens with the men Raffaela meets?

They see her as a woman, but after she tells them not to be a biological woman, they get confused and answer with a very harmful behaviour. It seems as if the phrase “you cannot change the habits of a lifetime” (to german: was der Bauer nicht kennt, frisst er nicht) seems to have a great effect.

The today’s medicine and medical research make more and more progresses. And love does not start with the outside from the body but with the language of the heart.

With this blogpost, I would like to support Raffaela in her ongoing path an tell the world and all the people to be more open-minded and not to judge the book by its cover.





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